Hi Henry this is an awesome piece of writing but here is some feedforward for you I think that you could make a bit of a change with the harry potter because there is lots on harry potter and not much on everything else other than that you did a great job. I also think in a
good way that you are matching your normal writing strand.(sorry to say this but it is kind of weird)

Thank you for your comment Ollie. You do have a point I have wrote quit a lot of harry potter. Just so you know that my favorite game is not harry potter extreme.